Finding Reality--Finding Ground to Stand On

I'm back in his car again, playing with the leather seats.
"Where to?"
It's been so long since I've heard his melody. Since my ears have been pleasured with that sound.
"Anywhere. Take me anywhere as long as you're there."
"I can do that." My heart jumps at the sincerety of those four words strung together. They are like the promise of the sunrise in the morning, the soft wind against spring flowers. I trace the hard lines of the roadmap in my arms, leading on from here to forever.
I watch his skin glisten in the light of August. I envy the wind from the open window running across his smile, his furrowed brow. This will be the last day we have together, the last smile I see before he is gone. Somewhere in the pit of my stomach, I know it. I try to push it away, but it jumps into my throat and I let out a moan of remorse.
“What is it?” His free hand flies to mine, picking it up from my lap and squeezing it. My heart skipps in my chest like a stone over water.
I choke away the nausia forming inside and look away from him. I couldn’t let him see I was blushing.
I stiffle the fear in my voice. “I just don’t want to leave.”
His face is unreadable. His mouth is in a thin line. I can’t comprehend the color of his cheeks, his flawless complexion. “Who said you were leaving? Who said either of us were?”
I search for the right words in my head. “It’s just that…I have this feeling that we won’t be together for much longer.” The words are almost a whisper.
He stares at me, taking only a few sideways glances at the road. His eyes are intense, searching my face for any signs of leaving.
“What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know.” I fiddle with my seatbelt. I release his hand gazing out the window again.
“I’ll never leave you.” His words sink deep into my chest. I stare out of the window intently.
We drive so long in silence that I realize I can’t remember the lines of his face, the length of his fingers or the blue in his eyes. My mind is racing. I catch him in the corner of my eye. He’s singing with the radio and I reach out to feel the muscles in his throat.
But before my fingers can reach the silky, tan stone, he disappears.
This can’t be real. Am I am dreaming?!
He’s back.
We're drifting on an endless highway. A mixture of fabricated and tangible memory clouds my head. I stare at his profile and he never notices. I'm alone in the last part of him I can remember. Each car on the road is his. Each face turns to reveal those marble blue eyes. I truly am dreaming. Why did he leave me here? How can my dreams be so cruel?